Billy-Jo Breshnev

Hallo. My naim is Billy-Jo Breshnev. You are probably rekognise me becose I was presdent of the Red Army Chwoir Ladys Oxilliary betwin 1984 and 1997. With the tragik end of Soviet eera and the disintergrashen of the USSR, we found it very diffkult to leev old wais be hind. We really miss those good old days of totalitarianism – leeders with drinking problem, sekrecy and feer, bleek winters, corrupshen and mismanidgment of natshural resourses. So we leeve the brite lights of our hom in Kazakstan and come to Tasmanistan. We reeli liking it heer - is jus liek gud old days.

Karlita-Marx Smirnoff

Thank yu for viziting our web site. My naim is Karlita Marx Smirnoff. I am Socialist realist singer. This mean I sing utopian dream of grate Soviet state and glory of Russian womanhood. I am also assistant trainer of performing ponies Sasha, Uri and Boris Molatov. Unforchunately ponies are not performing with us yet becoas they are still in detenshen in Hobart because Boris kick quarantine officer in his hed.

Pammy Sue Pushkin

Hi! My Mammy was preemer-ballereena in the Bolshoi Ballet but she defectacated to Texas were thay gave her a sylum. When she got out, she met my Daddy. He was a cowboy and here I am. You probably remember some of the hits from my first solo album:

I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral

If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me

My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart

She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

If I'd Killed You When I Wanted to I'd be Out of Jail by Now.

Loretta Yeltsin

My name is Loretta Yeltsin. I am ex-fashen editer of Pravda the famis Soviet newspaper and I am responsible for bringing Russian peasant look to Paris cat wark. I am provid all advices to our grils for cutting edg fashen look on stage. . I am chuse clothing that tipifies western persen so we are all wear Western Nashional Kostum. We hav try to make a similait wen we ferst com to Tasmanistan but we are serprise and dispointid to find that all Australistanis are dress down.
I werk closley with Patsy Shevardnardze and Ricky-Lee Gorbachev for that glowering look of confidentses from helthy living and good personel relashen.

Patsy Schevardnaze

I am Patsy Schevardnaze. I run helth resort on ege of Aral Sea (unforchunately no water). I am personali responsable for replenishing the boosum of our Dolly - bild up chest wall, lifting weights - start with small small very feminise pink AA, work up to DDD 40kg. My resort is run on prinspal of rigerus persnal hi geen and exlent diet of cabbidge and grissle plus permafrost therapi, with short brisk 30 kilometas walk to receeding shor of sea. Evry yeer we are hold tradishnel harvest of poisend fish strait afta industrial chemicle spill. We kolekt ded fish for maik into delishis fish paist. We luk forwerd to pulpmill in northen Tasmanistan for revive tradishnal fish-kill harvest.

Ricky-Lee Gorbachev

Hallo - my name is Ricky-Lee Gorbachev, (Miss Vladivostok 1968 - summeroflov) when grills and I win Vladivostok Line Dantsing champion chip. I am Aeroflot aer hostess at that taim - this is wear I get beatiful smiles. You probibly red how Aeroflot staff resently have insident where they have to beat up passengers - this hardly ever happen when I am on staff - my smile usualy enouf, with perhaps small arm-restle now and then. After winning competishion my kareer really take off. (har har this is a jok are yu get it?) I become markiting manadger for Lada car faktori, and from 1969 to 1987 I personaly assemble every car in fleet - they not make machine like that now.

Tammy-Fay Trotsky

I am be principle cellist of KGB Symphony til asked to leeve for soking sables in vodka and claim to be lov child of glorious hero Shostakowvitch wich is udderly bare of face fibski. I offen bach at moon to be calming the yaks so that they not be romanoff or trotskyoff to make marx.

Emmy-Lou Kruschev

I am herdresser for kowgerls and sinya yak grume on our Tasmanistan estate. I am skilful at remuving litell bits of mud from their corse hairs and making hi geenik. I do the saim for yaks.